Peter James reputation as a crime and
thriller writer is well known, but with his book The House On Cold Hill
he delves into the supernatural medium with a story inspired by his own
ghostly experiences.
The play adapted by Shaun McKenna, delivers
nothing really new in the way of the haunted house genre. A remote
gothic country mansion is purchased by a young family headed by Ollie
and Caro who are totally unaware of the properties mysterious, deadly
past.
Grumpy teenage daughter Jade can’t hide her angst
at being separated from her friends who are now a whole fifteen miles
away. So she bemoans, via Facetime, to them on her mobile, while mum and
dad skip around, dance and canoodle at every opportunity to her
embarrassment.
Ollie and Caro however are literally on the verge
of breaking into song and dance, or is it just the acting, with the
prospect of owning their new forever home.
The only modern addition to the ghostly goings on
is the inclusion of home wi-fi and an Alexa with unique connections that
well exceed the range of the router.
Joe McFadden just couldn’t resist a few Strictly
dance moves as Dad Ollie, a former ad man now starting up his own web
design business. Rita Simons is his wife Caro, a solicitor who now seems
to be a stay-at-home mum and is in the proud possession of a haunted
ironing board and iron. The latter suddenly bursts into flames at one
point; I just hope she kept the receipt.
Completing the family is Persephone Swales-Dawson
as the teenage daughter Jade, forever on her trusty mobile phone. I am
not too sure if teenagers still use the acronym OMG anymore, but Jade is
keeping the tradition alive.
Jade also seems to have a bit of a nasty streak
as she blackmails dad’s odd friend Chris, played by Charlie Clements.
Chris has been employed to help get the wi-fi set up, but Jade spots he
has a naughty book that Chris does not want his employer to discover
he’s reading. Jade promises not to tell if he lets her have it to read
and so he agrees.
Eventually though we find out it is not a copy of
Fifty Shades but a book on the science of hunting ghosts. We discover
eventually that Chris is a bit of a SGHG (a supernatural ghost hunting
geek) with a personal interest in Cold Hill (OMG).
Finally there’s Leon Stewart as local builder
Phil with his own unexplained investigations, there being severe damp in
the basement. Phil makes a lot of ghostly sounds himself, otherwise
known as `sharp intakes of breath’, as he contemplates the prospect of
over quoting for the repair of the rising damp.
With Tricia Deighton as the Medium Cleaner, and
in that title I am referring to her spirit world ability not her height
or daily rate and P’adraig Lynch as Fortinbras, the local vicar who
seems to know a thing or two about exorcism, the scary scene is set.
The play is directed by Ian Talbot and features a
dramatic set designed by Michael Holt which is packed with some high
tech screens to deliver the ghostly apparitions. Adding to the effects
are some cool lighting moves with the augmented atmosphere of chilling
sound effects. The scariest of those being the noisy pipes in the
central heating system, something that I am sure Phil the builder will
be quoting on in due course when he’s tackled the damp.
The House On Cold Hill is a lot of fun and played
at times that way and whilst it’s entertaining to watch you won’t be
hiding behind your programme or choking on your Fruit Pastilles in
shock. (Other brands are available)
There is a twist at the end and by that I mean an
unexpected ending rather than Joe McFadden dancing again. We never get
to find out who provides the family’s internet service but it’s quite an
advanced package.
With Alexa now being at the centre of this
haunted home, it presents a new possibility and a warning for the perils
of home automation, as her connection well exceeds that of normal wi fi
and takes you as far as the spirit world.
Scarily perhaps, it’s not just Google
which is
listening . . . To 11-05-19
